you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
I started off in the 9th grade a fresh man i met this really amazing guy i love him so much even to this day this is how i see it: we started off amazing i miss every second of it he was like a dream come true i started making friends things couldn’t have been any better for me long story short my friends started saying he was cheating that they would see him walking up and down the streets with other girls so i believed them i didnt even ask my boyfriend what he thought i asked for a break he was heart broken i was too i missed him so much i got back with him so quickly but when i did i was worried i didnt think things through what if he was cheating i went into a panic and broke up with him i was so upset i mean the guy of your dreams the guy you want to share everything with i broke up with him…i was so upset and found someone to make me happy without thinking i just got with him..i dont know what i was looking for i just wanted to be happy? not alone? im not really sure but that was a mistake he dumped me over stupid reasons but i mean i didnt care we didnt do anything all we did was talk like friends still no pet names or anything so it wasnt any different to not be with him..so then i got with this other guy..i guess you could call it pity dating but i was so mean i didnt talk to him at all the whole time we dated then i broke up with him he got with one of my friends but i didnt really care either they were happy together or at least they seemed that way so i was fine..i was still missing the guy i wanted to spend my life with we did get back together..except i know i messed up i know things werent going to be the same i knew things werent going to be picture perfect any more i mean what i did was so wrong…but he tried…thats all i could ask for..after awhile i thought things were going back to normal i started to feel happy again truly happy then he asked for a break..i let him have it he said he needed space being the odd one i am i normally isolate myself when dating someone due to experiences…but i was left there to wait at 1st i didnt mind because he just needed space but i just grew this distrust out of no where i dont know how it came to be just this level of extreme distrust…it tore us apart to where he didnt trust me either…we got back together..when we did all we would do was fight…so i listed options of those options was another break he called it an opportunity…so i let him have that too but the more we were apart the more i just didnt trust him the more mean we would get until he couldnt stand to be around me and i can hardly stand talking to him..but we got back together thinking things would get better for me they did for him they didnt..he asked for another break…and the more im away the less and less we try for one another…ive pushed him to the point to where he doesnt want to try at all…he says all i have to do is trust him but i dont even know where to begin i dont even know why i dont trust him..he doesnt believe a thing i say and he calls everything i do drama..it hurts the things he says…and then i hurt him..all we do now is bring the worst out of each other its hard to talk to him but when im not i miss him so much and i cry and wish he would call me or text me…but ive ruined that..and i dont know if i can fix it…the people around him say these bad things about me..and he believes them..he says such mean things..they used to be so sweet…if i didnt mess up things wouldnt be the way they are i dont know why i believed my former friends..i just did..and because of it all of this has happened..if he sees this i know he is going to be cross with me…but when i tell him how i see it he says its drama..im not sure what else to say..